Yesterday morning I was sitting in my hotel room waiting until it was time to leave for church. Going to church in itself is a new adventure because we never know where we may end up or who we may be with other than what we hear by word of mouth or by the Internet. Anyway, I probably had at least a good 20 minutes that I just sat and read my Bible. A question came to my mind, "God are you pleased with me?" As I sat there and thought about this, my thoughts hit a variety of things. Do my words and action match up? I know that there are a list of things that I need to do better- read my Bible more, pray more, let God humble me. God I know you love me, but are you pleased with where I am at, what I am doing? Am I being faithful, because I feel like I'm lacking? These and so many more were coming to my mind. It wasn't me sitting there feeling sorry for myself because I don't do enough, it was simply wanting to make sure that I am pleasing our Father and Creator especially when there are times when I fail him so much more than I please him! This was what filled my mind as I left for the morning service.
Like many services, we worshipped through singing. Some songs I knew some I didn't. One familiar song was "The Stand" by Hillsong United. I truly enjoy this song, but more than anything it has a deeper meaning for me. I was reminded over a year ago that God's promises stay the same no matter where I am at. I have a vivid memory of a powerful worship service at Barclay College where several people were gathered at the front of the sanctuary, hands lifted, singing with everything within us "I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all..." I know that what I experienced then, my willingness to go and abandon myself for the sake of Christ, still holds true today. That wasn't an experience for that day at Barclay, but for my life! It is always such a good reminder.
Toward the end of the service we took communion. Instead of being led my someone up front, we were each supposed to take it on our own as we felt ready. I sat there thinking about the reason we do this. As I was looking at the cup of juice, symbolizing Jesus' blood, my question got answered. "Yes I am pleased with YOU! That's why I did this." Christ died for me, knowing everything that I would ever do. I know that I always need to strive to me more like Christ, letting him refine me, my thoughts, actions, etc., but I also know that it is a lifelong process that will not be finished until heaven! Praise God for his unconditional love and mercy! I in no way can justify my actions and mistakes, but I know and trust that God will NEVER leave nor forsake me!
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