Community

You don't realize how much you miss something or someone until its gone.  I have heard this statement, or very similar statements quite often, but you don't completely understand it until you experience a big change, loss, etc. This last year has provided me with several separate situations that made me realize my capacity to love people and how important relationships are to me. These have stretched from losing my best friend to suicide, co-directing a high school summer camp program, leaving my internship/camp family, and now being in a different community.

Community is such a blessing that I know that I have taken for granted way to often. I have been so blessed over the last couple years to be in a wonderful community with several people that I can connect with. I am a relational person. I love having conversations with people, talking about life, laughing, etc. It is in my nature, a huge part of who I am. I honestly feel that God has blessed me with the gift of being a "people person." I cherish relationships and I am refreshed through them.

That being said, yesterday was a very hard day for me! I was missing community. Not necessarily a specific community, just people. This week our schedule was a little different so we had two days off in the middle of the week, and I think it's similar next week. There are things around but I don't want to just fill my time. I like to read, but sometimes you want to do other things. I've had a lot of time by myself, I like that, but its just so much some days! I have some projects to work on, but sometimes I just want people interactions, with people that know me, know who I am, what I like, what brings me joy.

It's weird being at a  place where I feel like my true self has not been shown. During the shows, interacting with students it has. Meeting people at gas stations, hotels, etc., has happened and that's always fun, but what about the days when I'm on my own?  I guess overall I am just learning what to do with my time. The shows are "filling" for me but they don't take up all my time. I'm just in the process of learning to adapt to new things, a new environment.

I really enjoy this job, and I am glad that I am doing it! But even before I started  I knew that this aspect was going to be hard. If anything it also reminds me of the wonderful people that I have in my life, the ones who I miss and who have made me understand what community really is!

Please pray that I will find contentment especially on harder days, that I will trust God to be my foundation in everything, and that I will find the sense of community that I need even if it looks different that what I may expect. God is faithful!