Camp Barnabas!

This week has been a pretty slow week of work. We only had shows on Monday and Wednesday. Because of that, Dorina and I have several days off. It's kinda nice, but again , I like being busy so I was unsure what I was going to do with my time (and still am for the rest of the week). We left Arkansas yesterday after our show and decided to stay in Springfield, MO until Monday morning. As I was sitting in my hotel room last night, I realized that Camp Barnabas was only 45 minutes away from where I was at.

Camp Barnabas is a camp for mentally and physically disabled children. This camp allows the campers to be exactly what they are supposed to be: kids! It doesn't matter if they had no arms or legs, or are paralyzed, they still got to go on the ropes course or go swimming. It may have taken a little more time and more help, but it's worth it! Every week of the summer hosts a different group of people, normally based on disability, and it also has weeks that cater to the siblings. You can find out more about Camp Barnabas at http://www.campbarnabas.org/.

 In 2004 I went to this camp with my church and helped for one of the weeks. I was assigned to one camper and it was my responsibility to take care of her, help her with her everyday needs, and to live with her for the duration of my time there. It was amazing, hard, exhausting, exhilarating, you name it. I still remember my camper and crazy enough, 5 years after counseling I ended up going to school with her sister for a semester and I got to see my camper that following May (remember Barclay was like 100 people, this was a crazy God thing!).

I contemplated for a while whether or not it would be worth it to drive out to the camp today.  I hadn't been there in a long time, there was not going to be anyone I knew, a lot has changed... Well I decided to go because if anything it would give me something to do with my day! I am so glad that I decided to go. When I got there I was able to talk with one of the directors about the camp, what's changed, how I got connected, all that good stuff. She told me that I could feel free to walk around and just make myself at home.   I knew it would be fun to see but I did not expect it to be so good! Even with the things that were new, as I walked around there were a couple places that I went to that reminded me of some very specific times. As I was talking with two of the ladies I told them that my heart just felt so full and tears came to my eyes. Camp Barnabas is such an amazing ministry!   It was actually an emotional experience!

One of the people I came in contact with asked me why it has taken me so long to come back! They started telling me that I should pray about coming back sometime, meaning this summer. I don't know if that will ever happen, but God definitely reminded me of a lot of things and the preciousness of these campers who desire to be loved for who they are. I want to help encourage and love them!

Here is a picture of one of the places at Camp Barnabas. It's called Inspiration Point. This cross has little plaques on it of campers who have passed away. It is such a beautiful spot. The next picture is of the land to the right of the cross. It is so beautiful and peaceful!

Not that I needed a reminder, but simply walking around this camp reminded me of how much my heart is for camp! I love camp! It was such  good time of reflection! God is still working on  my heart even after these last 6 years! Just like so many other things, it's so hard to put into words how amazing Camp Barnabas is as a counselor as well as the opportunity to go back and visit.

Southern Hospitality

I know you aren't supposed to have favorites, but today's school was definitely a favorite!  Today was one of those days that reminds you why you love your job! Granted I haven't had any days that I hated my job, especially seeing that its really hard for me to hate anything... well except for coffee! :)

We arrived at our school at 6:45am and drove up to a really nice campus. We were in a little town in Arkansas but the facilities they had were amazing. After walking around a little bit we found the assistant principal. He was a very kind man. We showed us where to go, got us some students to help, and was just overall friendly.  The main custodian was also super friendly. He helped us setup, carried on conversations, told us about Camfel being there in the past, just to name a few things. Today we were basically showing to the entire school district, a total of almost 3,000 people.  The first show went just like any other show. The high schoolers filled in, we gave an intro and started the film. During the show the asst. principal pulled me out and started talking with me about the presentation, offering ideas for other topics, and praises about how they will always keep having Camfel come back. So far.... it was a pretty normal day.

After the first presentation, the principal and asst. principal of the high school complemented the show, and said that they were going to treat us for lunch. That in itself was a blessing! Before lunch though we still had a presentation for the middle school.  The principal of the middle school was a sweet older lady. She came and talked with Dorina and I before the show started, asking us where we were from, what we majored in in college,  things like that. She had a super strong southern accent... I loved it! When the show concluded she got up and shared some great words with the students encouraging them to make good decisions and remember the film (when she said the word 'film' I had to try hard to understand what she was saying because of her accent!), then she went on to explain to the students what she learned about me and Dorina! It was funny but so sweet!

We still had some time before lunch so I was able to just sit and read for a little bit. That was a nice break in the middle of the day. When lunch time came, the tech. manager came and got us. He was a younger guy who had been a huge help to us setting up and we were each able to have some conversations with him. Between him and the custodian (and principals) we were taken care of! We headed over for lunch and it was just like being in college again! I ended up trying the "Cowboy Skillet Casserole" I was nervous at first, but figured "Hey I'm in a new place, might as well try something new." It was actually good!  The only bummer about lunch was that Dorina and I ended up eating by ourselves. The guy helping us had said we could sit in the cafeteria or go back to the other building and have a private lunch. I don't know why, but either due to miscommunication or whatever I ended up following them into the other building. We promise we like the people there! It just would have been awkward to walk back in a sit down with a plate of half-eaten food!  

Our next presentation didn't start for another hour so again that gave us the chance to just chill and read. It was such a laid back day! The last group of students to come in was the intermediate group, which for this school district was 3-6 graders. Like I said a few posts back, I really enjoy the younger grades. I just love their excitement We probably had close to 800 students in there for the presentation. Elementary teachers are amazing!

As we were waiting for the rest of the students to come in, one of our DVD players went off of the main screen. In order to fix it I had to press stop, which made the screens all go blank. Once I did that, all the students gasped! It was crazy and so funny how much they responded to that! We hadn't even started the show yet! I was able to joke with some of the kids in the front rows  that everything was okay and I made it work! One little boy in the front row started telling me different jokes. It was so cute!  It was so humorous watching them during the presentation as well.  I was so surprised when the majority of the room cheered when Lady Gaga's name came on the screen; we expect that from middle/high school!  There is also a song clip that says "Just Dance." It was awesome being able to watch them! So many of the students were in their seats singing and dancing with this song. It was so cute and one of the best responses that I have seen yet!

Today's tear down was our quickest tear down. We had some wonderful high school guy helpers. They did what they were asked and they did a good job with it as well. It was cool because one of them initiated a conversation with me before I did with him. After we loaded up the van we started joking around about where we were headed and how there is "so much" to do in this area of Arkansas, let alone the whole state itself. They just sat there and talked, laughed, and joked with us! It was a great way to end the day. As we were leaving the tech. manager told us that if we needed anything else, or things to do, just to call the box office because they would be there all day. So nice!

We came ready to serve and give a presentation, but we were totally taken care of today. These people, this school district, they served us today. I am so grateful and overjoyed because of the interactions we had! We were shown southern hospitality! Words can't truly explain what a good day today was!

Lessons Learned

I realized I write a lot when I blog! It's just making up for not talking a lot! Hopefully you read because you enjoy  and may you find encouragement as well!  So anyway... today's adventure:

This morning after checking out of our hotel, Dorina and I went to a church not to far from our hotel. I love that I am able to worship God with other believers even if I don't know who they are! Today's message was one of those "simple you have heard this before but you know you need to hear it again" messages.  The pastor talked about finding God in everyday life. He talked about how when we lose something we need to look for it or how do we expect to find it. The same thing is true for God. If we want to see God, don't we first have to open our eyes(or in some cases our hearts and minds)?   He also touched on how God cares about the little details of our lives, not just our huge catastrophes or joys. This sermon really made me think. What does this mean for me this year? I have talked about wanting to get closer to God and this was definitely a good reminder of the relationship God desires with me... with ALL of me.

After leaving, I started to journal in the car about some of the things that were mentioned. Here's some of the thoughts that came to mind:

We tend to talk to God more when we have "bigger" things going on. I have heard for years that God even cares about the little details of our lives. I've heard and taken part in praying for things as simple as finding an item that was lost.  I have to admit sometimes it seemed foolish. As I thought about this more, I thought about those little things we deal with. How little are they really? They may not change the course of history, but I think they really show our true colors. For example, if we lose something we often get frustrated. If someone enters the room and tries to find out what is going on so they can help, sometimes we snap at them out of our frustration. Right, or is this only me? :)  It can be so simple and over within a short amount of time, but shouldn't we still bring it to God? God doesn't say bring me all of your bigger, more time consuming worries, He wants them all, including times when we lost our keys, made a mistake, are fearful, etc. Even in those moments we are able to glorify God through his provision. I can think of several situations both from recent times and many years ago, when God has proven faithful even through the littlest ordeal!

During these times I think I have begun to understand the care of God even more. For many of us we had learned since we were little about how God loves us and nothing can ever change that. He cares about the little details of our lives because how we react to this little things are a small glimpse into how we may react with the big things. If we are able to humbly come before our God when we lose something, have a bad attitude, negative thought, etc., how much more does that help us to do that no matter the circumstance, big or small? Trusting God in the little moments helps us deepen our relationship with him. Think about friendships. You have friends who you will share the big moments of life with, then you have friends who you will share the harder moments of life with. What about those friends who you simply share your life with? I have some wonderful friends who I will share my love for swings with! It sounds childish, but I feel alive and filled when I get to go swinging and I hope I never lose that! I don't think I would necessarily share those moments with everyone because they don't know me. During those times of joy, so many amazing in depth conversations have happened, again conversations that I just wouldn't share with anyone. So there are friends you share big moments with, friends, or sometimes called acquaintances you share little moments with, then there are the ones you share you with; life moments big and small. Every time we share with someone, trust someone, it deepens that relationship. I think the same holds true with God, if not more! (Hope all that made sense! It did in my mind!)  Granted He s the God over everything isn't he? The Psalms say that he knows the number of hairs on our head. Talk about little details!  But in those little details we get more of a glimpse into the uniqueness of the person!

I journaled about so many more components of this that maybe I will share later, but today we were placed in a situation where we needed to trust and put this into practice! We don't just learn so we can journal, we learn so we can apply it to our lives. This time, today's message was for a lesson later that day!  After church we had about a 5 hour drive to Alma, Arkansas. When we went to check in to our hotel a sweet lady at the front said she did not see our reservation. As we checked the itinerary we found out that the room had been booked for December 26 instead of September 26. We were three months early!  We figured all we needed to do was to call the online site that we had booked through and switch the dates. As we did this the lady on the phone had told Dorina that the booking was both nonrefundable and nonexchangeable. She said we can have a friend or someone use it and just pay us back. Who do we know that would want to stay in small town in Arkansas the day after Christmas? NO ONE!  Basically we were told that we were out over $100.  Frustrated but knowing that we needed a place to stay for the night and this hotel was close to our school, we went back inside. Luckily we were only a few dollars over budget by booking it right at the hotel! Well the lady at the front desk said that we should try calling the people back and asking to talk with a supervisor. I mean we just booked to room last night, we are at the hotel we had booked, it was obvious that we were not trying to rip off the hotel and a genuine mistake was made.  After debating whether is was worth it Dorina called the company back. As she did this I was reminded of this morning's message. God you care about the details. Even with our hotels. Help us to work this out, stay calm, and trust you.  I just sat there and kept praying, being reminded that God cares about the details! After a series of questions, having the front desk lady here talk with the caller on the phone, we were able to get our hotel booking cancelled, without any charges or fees! It was amazing and such a blessing. The front desk lady was super cute but firm and so helpful! Thank you God for providing for us.

It's even in these simple things that God deserves the glory. I think that it part of God caring about the details. Too often we live, myself included, with the idea that we can take care of it. But God deserves the credit! We can't even come close to giving him what he deserves. Praise God for his unconditional love and for caring for us so much! Give God the little things and seek to see him every day and in every moment!

Double school day

Today was probably the busiest day we have had so far. It was a double school day which means that we had to setup a show in the morning at one school, and do the same thing in the afternoon. As Dorina and I talked through the times, we realized that we were going to be pushing it to make it happen. Normally we have been getting to our schools 2 hours before the show in order to setup, soon we will just start arriving and hour and half early. For our afternoon school we already had to hussle in order to make it an hour and half prior to their first show.

Before we even left the hotel room I wondered how the day would actually go. Partially because I knew I would be tired. For some weird reason I could not fall asleep last night, which is pretty random occurrence. I probably fell asleep around 1am knowing that my alarm was going off only 4 1/2 short hours later. Luckily I was pretty refreshed for most of the day!

Getting to our first show was interesting. As we were nearing what the GPS said was our school, we noticed that it was actually the high school we were pulling into, and I had just turned a little too early. We got on the road again and drove about a quarter of a mile then we saw another school. Like normal we thought this was the middle school we were looking for. Wrong! It was still part of the high school, just a different building, but this different building was where the GPS was telling us to go. So we continued to drive and ended up in a residential area. I don't think any of them planned to house 900 middle schoolers let alone fit our equipment in their homes!  We drove back toward the high school and decided that we would ask where the school was at. There were two gentlemen in the parking lot directing so we stopped and asked them. They were like "Nope, this isn't the middle school!" I thought that was kind of funny, because it was obvious that it wasn't and we were asking for directions to it.  They ended up giving us directions which was helpful but I was so afraid I was going to get lost.  Thankfully after driving about 5-6 more miles (in a blinding sunrise) we found the middle school.

The setup and shows went great. The students were attentive and responsive which is always a highlight. The principal had some really good things to say to the students to address them personally and relate it to the video. This is always so important in order to helps students really claim responsibility for their actions within their own school. Today though it was hard for Dorina and I to remain patient. The longer he talked the longer it will take us to tear down and the less time we will have at our next school.  This came to my mind a few times and then I was reminded that I needed to stay focused on the present school. These students needed to hear what the principal was saying, and I needed to trust that we would be fine. Obviously we in no way had shown our concern about leaving, it was just something roaming at the front of our minds.  We knew our time frame was tight, but I knew that somehow we would make it happen. These are the days for which we had intense training right?

We left the first school at about 11:25 and it was supposed to take us about 10minutes to arrive at our afternoon location. About a mile after we pulled out of the school there was construction so we were slowed down a little. It was so easy to get frustrated and worried that things weren't going to get done in time. As I was waiting for the flagger to allow us to go, I just had this sense of God saying "Tiffany I got you, I got you, don't worry, things will be fine." That simple moment provided me much peace. We arrived at the next school at 11:40 and started unloading the van around 11:45. We ended up being done with setup, except for a few small details, by 12:35!  It was wonderful! I was definitely worried that we would be running so close to our start time! God did have me! It wasn't nearly as stressful as I thought it was going to be.

The shows at this school went fabulous as well. Again the principal was so good with words, tying together the goals of the school with the presentation. During our presentation at this school, the learning disabled class was sitting in the front row! I had such quick interactions with them but they touched my heart! Almost all of them waved at me. Some were with an overjoyed expression on their faces and some you could tell were a little more shy but they still wanted to be included. I wanted to just go sit and talk and be with them!

Overall I was personally super impressed with this school district and had the opportunity to share that with the superintendent as well. At both schools the principal started the presentation by saying "Show me listening." The kids automatically knew what he was talking about. I was impressed by how good the relationships looked between the students, teachers and administration. There was a lot of encouragement, affirmation, high fives, and simple hellos being offered between them. It was so genuine and so good.  Several schools are like this I'm sure, but as an outsider it was amazing being able to see it so openly!

I am grateful for such a good day! Even with a lack of sleep, not being able to find our school, shortened time constraints, etc., things went exceptionally well! Thank you God for patience and a good attitude (and a nap when I got back to the hotel)!

Community

You don't realize how much you miss something or someone until its gone.  I have heard this statement, or very similar statements quite often, but you don't completely understand it until you experience a big change, loss, etc. This last year has provided me with several separate situations that made me realize my capacity to love people and how important relationships are to me. These have stretched from losing my best friend to suicide, co-directing a high school summer camp program, leaving my internship/camp family, and now being in a different community.

Community is such a blessing that I know that I have taken for granted way to often. I have been so blessed over the last couple years to be in a wonderful community with several people that I can connect with. I am a relational person. I love having conversations with people, talking about life, laughing, etc. It is in my nature, a huge part of who I am. I honestly feel that God has blessed me with the gift of being a "people person." I cherish relationships and I am refreshed through them.

That being said, yesterday was a very hard day for me! I was missing community. Not necessarily a specific community, just people. This week our schedule was a little different so we had two days off in the middle of the week, and I think it's similar next week. There are things around but I don't want to just fill my time. I like to read, but sometimes you want to do other things. I've had a lot of time by myself, I like that, but its just so much some days! I have some projects to work on, but sometimes I just want people interactions, with people that know me, know who I am, what I like, what brings me joy.

It's weird being at a  place where I feel like my true self has not been shown. During the shows, interacting with students it has. Meeting people at gas stations, hotels, etc., has happened and that's always fun, but what about the days when I'm on my own?  I guess overall I am just learning what to do with my time. The shows are "filling" for me but they don't take up all my time. I'm just in the process of learning to adapt to new things, a new environment.

I really enjoy this job, and I am glad that I am doing it! But even before I started  I knew that this aspect was going to be hard. If anything it also reminds me of the wonderful people that I have in my life, the ones who I miss and who have made me understand what community really is!

Please pray that I will find contentment especially on harder days, that I will trust God to be my foundation in everything, and that I will find the sense of community that I need even if it looks different that what I may expect. God is faithful!

He is pleased.

Yesterday morning I was sitting in my hotel room waiting until it was time to leave for church. Going to church in itself is a new adventure because we never know where we may end up or who we may be with other than what we hear by word of mouth or by the Internet. Anyway, I probably had at least a good 20 minutes that I just sat and read my Bible. A question came to my mind, "God are you pleased with me?" As I sat there and thought about this, my thoughts hit a variety of things.  Do my words and action match up? I know that there are a list of things that I need to do better- read my Bible more, pray more, let God humble me. God I know you love me, but are you pleased with where I am at, what I am doing? Am I being faithful, because I feel like I'm lacking?   These and so many more were coming to my mind. It wasn't me sitting there feeling sorry for myself because I don't do enough, it was simply wanting to make sure that I am pleasing our Father and Creator especially when there are times when I fail him so much  more than I please him! This was what filled my mind as I left for the morning service.

Like many services, we worshipped through singing. Some songs I knew some I didn't. One familiar song was "The Stand"  by Hillsong United. I truly enjoy this song, but more than anything it has a deeper meaning for me. I was reminded over a year ago that God's promises stay the same no matter where I am at. I have a vivid memory of a powerful worship service at Barclay College where several people were gathered at the front of the sanctuary, hands lifted, singing with everything within us "I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all..."   I know that what I experienced then, my willingness to go and abandon myself for the sake of Christ, still holds true today. That wasn't an experience for that day at Barclay, but for my life! It is always such a good reminder.

Toward the end of the service we took communion. Instead of being led my someone up front, we were each supposed to take it on our own as we felt ready. I sat there thinking about the reason we do this. As I was looking at the cup of juice, symbolizing Jesus' blood,  my question got answered. "Yes I am pleased with YOU! That's why I did this." Christ died for me, knowing everything that I would ever do.  I know that I always need to strive to me more like Christ, letting him refine me, my thoughts, actions, etc.,  but I also know that it is a lifelong process that will not be finished until heaven!  Praise God for his unconditional love and mercy! I in no way can justify my actions and mistakes, but I know and trust that God will NEVER leave nor forsake me!

Friday's school

Last Friday we had a 2 show presentation at a middle school in Manhattan, KS.  Overall things went how they normally do between getting to the school early, setup, meeting contacts, etc., but there were several things that stick out in my mind about this school. First of all, this was the first time that this particular school had had a Camfel presentation. Some teachers and board members have seen them, but not at this particular location.  This being said, sometimes the contacts have no clue what to expect. This can either heighten the pressure or alleviate it depending on the circumctances.

Dorina and I arrived at the school at 6:15am, a little earlier than the principal had expected, but luckily there were still a few people around. We started to unload our van and by about 6:45a.m. we had met the Principal. Automatically, he was extremely hospitable to us. Several times he asked us if we needed anything, went and got things himself if we did, brought us nice cold waters, and simply came to check in on us during setup. It was in no way overbearing, just helpful.

During the first presentation, we unfortunately had a faulty start. Basically what this means is that one of the DVD players was not synced up properly to the other two. It was literally only a second off but that still makes a huge difference! The problem was fixed quickly and the rest of the show was great. This particular group of students was wonderful! They were very responsive, and thankful, that we had come to their school.  This school was not just showing this presentation and then just sending students back to class. Instead they scheduled their day so that students could be in small groups discussing the presentation and similar projects.

After the first show a girl came up to me. She started the conversation by saying that the last part of our presentation almost made her cry. As she continued talking she talked about how sometimes she has a hard time not cussing. A way she worked through that is by making animal noises so that she doesn't say the actual word. She continued to explain that people (parents in particular) didn't understand why she made the noises ( I asked her if she ever explained and she said no). She was just so willing to share her heart and have someone listen to her and her alone. She was precious and I am grateful that I had the opportunity to listen to her although it was brief.

The second show was for another middle school only two miles down the road. The schools bussed the students over which was wonderful for us because we only had to set up once! Before the students arrived Dorina and I met a lady who said she was the interpreter. There were at least two students coming who were hearing impaired. Our presentations are made with subtitles as well so it was really cool to be able to serve the students in such a small but important way.  During the show I was in awe of the interpreter. I have seen so many people sign before, but for some reason it just really stuck out today! I knew how fast the show was going and how fast she had to sign. It was amazing! There are so many ways for people to communicate!

From start to finish the presentation went well. Again the students were very responsive but not disruptive and all the staff was so nice! I really enjoyed the student/teacher interactions that I was able to have!

Earlier in the morning, the Principal had told us that after the presentations there would not be students available to help tear down but a few teachers. Without evening thinking about it we said ok. Well after the presentation there were six or so male teacher, administrators, and the principal helping us tear down. It was so weird asking these men to do things, or basically telling them. I know we weren't being disrespectful at all but it felt that way! They were willing to help, its just different went you are directing students versus older adults. They were very wonderful help, and I wasn't as nervous with the directions because they had a higher attention span! I was just reminded about the variety of people we work with, students and adults alike. They were able to see Dorina and I carry on conversations while clearly explain what needed to be done.  It was evident that we knew our job and knew it well. We worked efficiently but it was also fun. I told them all how great it was to have their help. They were serving us that morning; what a blessing! Before we left the principal shook our hands and hugged us as he thanked us for coming. They were beyond hospitable and friendliness at this school! It was such a good morning!