Your life is worth it! I wanted to say that over and over again to a student at our school today. A student I've never met, or even seen.
Things started just like a normal day, and basically the whole day was a normal day, but I was deeply saddened by something that has become way too "normal". Michelle and I arrived at our school at 6am this morning, ready to crawl back in bed instead of work. We did our normal thing-- set up the equipment and get ready for the show. At about 6:50am our contact comes in and introduces himself, then asks if we are going to be ready in 20min. for the first show (our itinerary said it wasn't supposed to start until 7:45am). Luckily he was very flexible (although he came back later and told me he was a little nervous about the time) and we were able to be to have the show start at 7:10 anyway. Again, some changes but a pretty normal day so far.
We had four shows back to back at this high school in New York. The 2nd show had some pretty obnoxious students which created some issues and resulted in at least one suspension. I include this because as we were gearing up for our third show our contact came down, seeming a little exhausted already, and started talking with us. Now most principals and administrators already have a lot on their plate, so special days for assemblies and things can be a bit tricky to their already hectic schedule. He started sharing what a crazy morning it already was-- he was up most of the night with a sick child, 2 administrators were out sick, 2 security guards were not there today, a fight broke out first thing in the morning that was still trying to be resolved several hours later, then their was the kid in our 2nd presentation who had just been suspended. Sounds like a lot right? I would say so! Then the last thing that he said had me to the point of tears. He said "Oh plus we have a student in the guidance office who was ready to jump out of the second floor window and was found cutting herself in the bathroom. We called her mom and told her she needed to take her to the hospital but right in front of her daughter she refused because she couldn't pay for that kind of thing."
Man did my heart become heavy! I seriously had to hold back tears for this girl. I just wanted to go up and hug her, to tell her she was worth it. She definitely hasn't been getting that message. I don't know anything about her, or her family life, or anything. I never saw her face, but I was so burdened just by hearing this story. After talking a little bit more with our contact, we heard that she doesn't feel too great at home either and things aren't the greatest there. So now, later on in the day, I'm sitting here questioning what things are like now. Is she at home feeling completely alone? Is her mom upset because she got called about this when the daughter knew they didn't have money to take her to the hospital? Are people telling her she is overreacting and its just a part of this time in her life? Are the reasons for her feelings being discussed and not discredit it? Did she or will she get the help/love/encouragement/hope that she needs?
Cutting and suicide is some that I have been very sensitive to for several years, partially just because of the value of life. For things to become so dark that there seems to be no other option is one of the worst feelings. I know that stories like this girl are way too common. I know sometimes there is just a search for attention or to gain control of some aspect in life, but its still a severe issue and each incident should be approached individually and appropriately. Several students feel like this daily and several of them cut or attempt to take their own lives. Then there are the sad cases that actually succeed. I know this is the reality of it. But I hate it. I just wanted to go hug that girl, tell her I care for her, and tell her about the love of Jesus. That no, things may not be perfect, but he promises to never leave you nor forsake you. I wanted to go up to her and say "Hi you don't know me, but I just wanted you to know that I am hurting for you and care about you and love you!" And I would have meant every bit of it!
I spent most of our next presentation praying for her. Praying that she would find peace. Praying that the lies she has been hearing would be drowned out by beauty and hope. Praying that Jesus and his mighty power would surround her and show her the way to new life!
I want to be faithful that whenever God brings this situation to mind, that I will spend sometime to pray for her. I will probably never step foot into that school again, let alone meet her, but our God is big and he knows her by name!
God is good and hears our prayers even when we don't know the people we are praying for! Make sure we value each other and ourselves. Offer hope and remind people that life is worth it even on the darkest days! Pray for people. Love people. Care for people. Carry their burdens.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Words, slurs, and laughter
I'm really glad I have the ability to laugh at myself. Today I had an interaction with a student that wasn't a big deal but still brings a smile to my face. As I was carrying equipment into the auditorium, a student asked if we needed help. I wasn't going to pass that opportunity up, so I told him that if he didn't have class then we would appreciate it. As we were working together I asked him his name, grade, and other basic things. We went to go lift up our speakers, and as I told him that the larger one was kind of awkward and heavy, he responded by saying he was use to lifting heavy things. Out of curiosity, I asked him what he did where he had to lift heavy things. He said he was a muscian, but that was not what I heard. A little confused and unsure this fit with lifting heavy things, I responded by saying "Oh a magiciian?" Luckily he did hear me completely this time, and said "Yeah I play the drums and keyboard at church." While trying to hold in my laughter (at myself) I just contiued to pursue information about the instruments he played and what he liked best. As much as it wasn't a big deal, it made me laugh.
Things like this happen all the time. Sometimes I blame it on the fact we have to get up early, but sometimes its just me being ridiculous. Last Friday was one of those days. We had a two-school day. At both schools I had the hardest time explaining directions and making complete sentences. Several times with both students and adults I just had to stop, laugh and say "I'm sorry I'm having trouble speaking today". Oh how completely accurate that statement was. Luckily due to time constraints we didn't have to do any intros and conclusions so I never made a complete fool of myself in front of a large audience, although they may have enjoyed it.
I also remember one morning when we had a group of students help us. I normally try to ask for their names (and try even harder to remember them- that plan normally fails), and I repeat them back to clarify what I heard. Some kids mumble so bad and some kids have such hard names to pronounce!! This specific morning there were 4 girls who told me their names, I totally messed up on all of them. And it wasn't that I was just a little bit off, I was completely off. I didn't try to correct myself. I just resorted to eye contact, pointing, and saying "Hey you". Very personal I know. Ha. But at least I tried. I blame sleep :)
There are occurences like this all the time. There have been times when I couldn't clearly explain how to do a job because me and a group of students were laughing so hard. When I mess up, I just made fun of myself even more and people continue to laugh. Good good times. Laughter is definitely one of my favorite things in life. I need some more of it!
Things like this happen all the time. Sometimes I blame it on the fact we have to get up early, but sometimes its just me being ridiculous. Last Friday was one of those days. We had a two-school day. At both schools I had the hardest time explaining directions and making complete sentences. Several times with both students and adults I just had to stop, laugh and say "I'm sorry I'm having trouble speaking today". Oh how completely accurate that statement was. Luckily due to time constraints we didn't have to do any intros and conclusions so I never made a complete fool of myself in front of a large audience, although they may have enjoyed it.
I also remember one morning when we had a group of students help us. I normally try to ask for their names (and try even harder to remember them- that plan normally fails), and I repeat them back to clarify what I heard. Some kids mumble so bad and some kids have such hard names to pronounce!! This specific morning there were 4 girls who told me their names, I totally messed up on all of them. And it wasn't that I was just a little bit off, I was completely off. I didn't try to correct myself. I just resorted to eye contact, pointing, and saying "Hey you". Very personal I know. Ha. But at least I tried. I blame sleep :)
There are occurences like this all the time. There have been times when I couldn't clearly explain how to do a job because me and a group of students were laughing so hard. When I mess up, I just made fun of myself even more and people continue to laugh. Good good times. Laughter is definitely one of my favorite things in life. I need some more of it!
Everyday Living
As I was sitting in my hotel room tonight I started thinking about how I needed to blog. Then my thoughts wandered to what I would write about. What should I share? What is different from the last few posts? Recently I have been thinking about how all the days are just the same thing. They aren't bad, I'm not discouraged, I'm not bored, its just that I go to work, then head to a hotel where I read, watch TV, talk on the phone, exercise, take care of things such as laundry, etc. All of these things are great and important, but at the same time they are all a part of normal everyday living. Where's the excitement in that?
Then while at work, each day is different but the same. Now reading that, that statement doesn't make sense. Let me explain. Each day is different because we are in a new school, interacting with new people, setting up in a new area, and so on. But its the same because that pattern is what we are used to: Arriving at a school normally early in the morning, finding someone to show us where to go (sometimes they have no clue that we are even supposed to be there), set up, run the show, and then head out. Some days the students are very attentive, other days their aren't. I guess this all comes to mind because I've been talking with people recently and they have been asking me about whats been going on and all that. My first response is always "Well you know, just the same stuff." I want to elaborate but how?
This all leads me to the reminder that I was made for adventure. I want excitement, new experiences, even sometimes challenges. And this job has and will continue to provide some of that adventure, some surprises along the way. Like today, I was pleasantly surprised by the response we were given by the students at the high school we went to today. I feel like this school said 'thank you' the most, and provided feedback to both Michelle and I, as well as the school administration. This was surprising because in the beginning it seemed like a pretty tough crowd to appeal to, but they sure jumped in to the program!
I feel like I am approaching crossroads in my life. Just like I wrote in my last post, I have been dealing with trust a lot. Trusting God to provide and show me direction. I am thankful because I am not burned out with this job, I am confident about finishing well, but my heart is being prepared for the next step. And that next step is still a complete mystery to me. I'm ok with that only because I know that if it was God's timing then I would know where he's leading me.
Not only am I seeking out a job for after my time with Camfel, I seeking to establish my place. I would like to find a job that is more permanent, meaning my contract is continual, not only lasting a year or so. I long to be back in a community of people, attending a church I call home. I want to be involved in the lives of people around me, serve them, love them, and be loved in return.
Even if day to day activities don't change much, I know that this is all a part of the bigger scheme of things. I am learning so much here and I desire to learn as I work with Camfel for the next two or so months. There is more happening in my life than the everyday stuff, I just may not recognize it all right now.
So I just wrote several paragraphs of rambles. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope it made sense to you at least somewhat. I'm excited to see what God still throws my way. He's never finished with me, and he's not finished with me on this part of my journey!
Then while at work, each day is different but the same. Now reading that, that statement doesn't make sense. Let me explain. Each day is different because we are in a new school, interacting with new people, setting up in a new area, and so on. But its the same because that pattern is what we are used to: Arriving at a school normally early in the morning, finding someone to show us where to go (sometimes they have no clue that we are even supposed to be there), set up, run the show, and then head out. Some days the students are very attentive, other days their aren't. I guess this all comes to mind because I've been talking with people recently and they have been asking me about whats been going on and all that. My first response is always "Well you know, just the same stuff." I want to elaborate but how?
This all leads me to the reminder that I was made for adventure. I want excitement, new experiences, even sometimes challenges. And this job has and will continue to provide some of that adventure, some surprises along the way. Like today, I was pleasantly surprised by the response we were given by the students at the high school we went to today. I feel like this school said 'thank you' the most, and provided feedback to both Michelle and I, as well as the school administration. This was surprising because in the beginning it seemed like a pretty tough crowd to appeal to, but they sure jumped in to the program!
I feel like I am approaching crossroads in my life. Just like I wrote in my last post, I have been dealing with trust a lot. Trusting God to provide and show me direction. I am thankful because I am not burned out with this job, I am confident about finishing well, but my heart is being prepared for the next step. And that next step is still a complete mystery to me. I'm ok with that only because I know that if it was God's timing then I would know where he's leading me.
Not only am I seeking out a job for after my time with Camfel, I seeking to establish my place. I would like to find a job that is more permanent, meaning my contract is continual, not only lasting a year or so. I long to be back in a community of people, attending a church I call home. I want to be involved in the lives of people around me, serve them, love them, and be loved in return.
Even if day to day activities don't change much, I know that this is all a part of the bigger scheme of things. I am learning so much here and I desire to learn as I work with Camfel for the next two or so months. There is more happening in my life than the everyday stuff, I just may not recognize it all right now.
So I just wrote several paragraphs of rambles. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope it made sense to you at least somewhat. I'm excited to see what God still throws my way. He's never finished with me, and he's not finished with me on this part of my journey!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Trust
The last couple of days my mind has been going nonstop. It hasn't been bad, but sometimes its just really hard to figure out where to go with all of it. This entire year (and all of life for that matter) God has reminded me about my need to trust. There are a lot of unknowns. A lot of questions. A lot of maybes. A lot of closed doors, but some great open doors. How do I know? And as I seek answers, God reminds me just to trust.
It's almost April and I only have about 2 months left with Camfel. Now I keep reminding myself that is more than enough time and a lot can still happen, but sometimes I catch myself focusing too much on whats to come instead of what I have. When talking with Michelle recently, I was reminded of some great truths and promises. After addressing the topic of worry and reminding us that the Father knows our needs, Jesus says "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34) Our job isn't to figure everything out, its to Seek first his kingdom then all else will be added. Things become clearer as we trust because our focus shifts from what we want to who we are supposed to seek.
Who knows what in store for tomorrow, next month, next year, and so on, but I will try to trust, try to be patient, and try to follow. I know its better and I know its worth it! I'm excited to see what God has in store!
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, now mind has conceive what God has prepared for those who love him, but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." 1 Corinthians 2:9-10
It's almost April and I only have about 2 months left with Camfel. Now I keep reminding myself that is more than enough time and a lot can still happen, but sometimes I catch myself focusing too much on whats to come instead of what I have. When talking with Michelle recently, I was reminded of some great truths and promises. After addressing the topic of worry and reminding us that the Father knows our needs, Jesus says "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34) Our job isn't to figure everything out, its to Seek first his kingdom then all else will be added. Things become clearer as we trust because our focus shifts from what we want to who we are supposed to seek.
Who knows what in store for tomorrow, next month, next year, and so on, but I will try to trust, try to be patient, and try to follow. I know its better and I know its worth it! I'm excited to see what God has in store!
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, now mind has conceive what God has prepared for those who love him, but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." 1 Corinthians 2:9-10
Monday, March 7, 2011
Home Sweet Home
I was sitting in our hotel room Wednesday night when I realized a few things 1) we had a four day weekend 2) My sisters birthday was that weekend 3) I'm only about 7 hours from home (which was only an hour farther than a weekend I was planning on going home). With this new information I called my dad and mentioned that even though it was extremely short notice, we should try to work something out so that I could come home since we would have more time and I could be with my sister for her birthday which hasn't happened in 5 years! Thursday afternoon my dad called and said he was able to get Friday and Monday off so we could work out transportation. I felt kind of bad leaving Michelle by herself, but if/when she's close to family I totally want her to go visit!
So on Friday my dad was extremely nice and drove to come get me and then we drove back home. It ended up being about a 14-15 hour day in the car for him, and as I write this he is making his way back home from dropping me back off. But for all of us it was worth it. I was able to see some family, friends, go to church, do *free* laundry :), and surprise my sister! It was so good to see her so happy. My dad took her out to dinner on Saturday and when she walked into the restaurant she saw me standing there with flowers in my hand for her. She had no clue I was there, and wasn't expecting me until the following weekend. She had a smile and surprised look plastered to her face throughout all of dinner! It was wonderful! After dinner we went and picked up my grandma then we all hung out and stayed at my dads house.
Sunday, after a crazy morning, we finally made it to church. It was great to see so many people, and get my fill of hugs, even if I was only there for a short time. After church I went to lunch with my dad, sis, and two friends. It was a pretty low key weekend, but so nice getting to be home for a little bit. Oh plus I got my doggie fix! My dog Sadie is one of the cutest dogs ever! I mean I know that most people will say that about their dog, but for me its true! She the perfect dog to go with my liking- she loves attention, will sit there and just let you pet her (which I would be completely content doing ALL day!), she is my little follower.. having to make sure she knows where I am, and shes just super cute! Ha Ha.
It was a blessing that I wasn't expecting! Throughout that time, I feel as though God revealed some more things to me about certain relationships, my relationship with him, things that I love, and fears that I have. He showed up and I love when I clearly see that!
So on Friday my dad was extremely nice and drove to come get me and then we drove back home. It ended up being about a 14-15 hour day in the car for him, and as I write this he is making his way back home from dropping me back off. But for all of us it was worth it. I was able to see some family, friends, go to church, do *free* laundry :), and surprise my sister! It was so good to see her so happy. My dad took her out to dinner on Saturday and when she walked into the restaurant she saw me standing there with flowers in my hand for her. She had no clue I was there, and wasn't expecting me until the following weekend. She had a smile and surprised look plastered to her face throughout all of dinner! It was wonderful! After dinner we went and picked up my grandma then we all hung out and stayed at my dads house.
Sunday, after a crazy morning, we finally made it to church. It was great to see so many people, and get my fill of hugs, even if I was only there for a short time. After church I went to lunch with my dad, sis, and two friends. It was a pretty low key weekend, but so nice getting to be home for a little bit. Oh plus I got my doggie fix! My dog Sadie is one of the cutest dogs ever! I mean I know that most people will say that about their dog, but for me its true! She the perfect dog to go with my liking- she loves attention, will sit there and just let you pet her (which I would be completely content doing ALL day!), she is my little follower.. having to make sure she knows where I am, and shes just super cute! Ha Ha.
It was a blessing that I wasn't expecting! Throughout that time, I feel as though God revealed some more things to me about certain relationships, my relationship with him, things that I love, and fears that I have. He showed up and I love when I clearly see that!
Monday, February 28, 2011
What a weekend!
Great sights, good weather, yummy food= yep that was our weekend! Michelle and I stayed about 15 miles outside of New York City for the last 4 nights. On Saturday we took a tour of NYC. It was fabulous! We were able to see several places including the Statue of Liberty (well at least from the side!), Ground Zero, Radio City, Times Square, Central Park, Grand Central Terminal, Rockefeller Center, Wall St., and so many more! We were able to see a lot of different places with a tour guide who was extremely knowledgeable about the city. As we drove though the city we saw a lot of buildings that were used movies such as the library from Day after Tomorrow, or the building the dragon climbed on top of in the movie Enchanted. It was great having the chance to see sooo many places that people talk about frequently!
The tour itself had a lot of people from all over as well including Montreal, London, Germany, and several states across the US even though the group was only about 20 of us. Even while just passing people on the street we saw so many people from different countries and places. Since the 9/11 attacks, NYC is the most visited city in the US! While in Central Park there was a small band recording in an area overlooking the lake. They were from France, had a wonderful accents and were extremely talented!
Other than knowing the city like the back of his hand, our tour guide also starred on several TV shows including CSI. At the end of the tour he showed us clips of his "good ol' days!" The tour definitely left us thirsting for more, to spend hours at just a few of the places, but this was the first time I had ever been to NYC so it was great to see so many sights.
Then on Sunday Michelle and I contemplated whether or not we wanted to take a bus back into the city and do a little more centralized sight seeing or if we just wanted to do something else. We had ended up make the decision to go to Hoboken, NJ (basically half a mile from NY) to find some New York style pizza, which was huge and amazing, and visit Carlo's Bakery which is the bakery of Buddy the Cake Boss (a phenomenal cake show on TLC).
When we first got to the bakery, Buddy was outside the store in the middle of doing a film shoot. It was so cool getting to see all the work, people, and equipment needed to create such a small part of one episode. We were right in front of the group while he was performing. After watching for a little while, we went to get in line to actually enter the bakery. The line was around a block to a block and a half long. Partially due to the film shoot, but also due to the amount of people we ended up standing in line for about 40 minutes. Luckily it wasn't extremely cold and it gave Michelle and I some good time to talk! We finally made into the bakery, which was tiny and crowded, but so awesome! Their cakes and desserts really are a work of art! Michelle and I each got two cupcakes- a chocolate one with peanut butter creme frosting and a red velvet one. They were fabulous. It was just cool to go to a place that we had seen on TV, and to see a part of the process of their show. We had a great weekend of seeing places in the area. What a blessing it has been to get to explore!
The tour itself had a lot of people from all over as well including Montreal, London, Germany, and several states across the US even though the group was only about 20 of us. Even while just passing people on the street we saw so many people from different countries and places. Since the 9/11 attacks, NYC is the most visited city in the US! While in Central Park there was a small band recording in an area overlooking the lake. They were from France, had a wonderful accents and were extremely talented!
Other than knowing the city like the back of his hand, our tour guide also starred on several TV shows including CSI. At the end of the tour he showed us clips of his "good ol' days!" The tour definitely left us thirsting for more, to spend hours at just a few of the places, but this was the first time I had ever been to NYC so it was great to see so many sights.
Then on Sunday Michelle and I contemplated whether or not we wanted to take a bus back into the city and do a little more centralized sight seeing or if we just wanted to do something else. We had ended up make the decision to go to Hoboken, NJ (basically half a mile from NY) to find some New York style pizza, which was huge and amazing, and visit Carlo's Bakery which is the bakery of Buddy the Cake Boss (a phenomenal cake show on TLC).
When we first got to the bakery, Buddy was outside the store in the middle of doing a film shoot. It was so cool getting to see all the work, people, and equipment needed to create such a small part of one episode. We were right in front of the group while he was performing. After watching for a little while, we went to get in line to actually enter the bakery. The line was around a block to a block and a half long. Partially due to the film shoot, but also due to the amount of people we ended up standing in line for about 40 minutes. Luckily it wasn't extremely cold and it gave Michelle and I some good time to talk! We finally made into the bakery, which was tiny and crowded, but so awesome! Their cakes and desserts really are a work of art! Michelle and I each got two cupcakes- a chocolate one with peanut butter creme frosting and a red velvet one. They were fabulous. It was just cool to go to a place that we had seen on TV, and to see a part of the process of their show. We had a great weekend of seeing places in the area. What a blessing it has been to get to explore!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
An afternoon in Philadelphia
On Sunday, Michelle and I spent the afternoon walking around Philadelphia. I absolutely loved it! When we first got there we went to the area of Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. It was awesome to see these places (and it made us want to watch National Treasure!). For lunch we had some amazing cheesesteaks which was a must! Towards the end of the day we went to the Philadelphia Museum of Art and ran up the steps just like Rocky! Our day was filled with seeing great places, laughter, and good conversations. Luckily we weren't freezing the entire time we were out there either, probably because we went numb! I will add pictures once I find my camera cord!
Last week was very stressful with work because we kept having technical issues and shows kept messing up, so after a lot of troubleshooting that didn't seem to do anything, it was great to just have some time to relax and enjoy the place we are at. Next weekend we are going to be outside of NYC, so weather permitting we may go explore there, which I am really excited about!
Last week was very stressful with work because we kept having technical issues and shows kept messing up, so after a lot of troubleshooting that didn't seem to do anything, it was great to just have some time to relax and enjoy the place we are at. Next weekend we are going to be outside of NYC, so weather permitting we may go explore there, which I am really excited about!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Relocation: East Coast
The last few weeks some very big things changed: I got relocated from Los Angeles to the east coast. My boss talked to me 2 weeks ago and said that there was a chance I may be sent to the east coast. Monday, only 3 days later, it was confirmed and a flight was book. My new partner Michelle and I arrived in PA on Saturday. We have had shows everyday this week and had the ability to work with some great schools.
Overall I am excited about this move. It was a bummer leaving a community at the condo, as well as the Life Group I had joined (see one earlier post), but I like being on the road again. Our three nights we stayed in downtown Newark, NJ. As I looked out the window I was able to see New York City, including the Empire State Building, in the background. It was awesome. We will be back in that area soon, so sometime Michelle and I are going to tour around the big city! Tomorrow we may even go see the sights in Philadelphia!
Its also a huge blessing because in just a couple hours I get to see my dad (and hes bring my dog :) ). My dad was gracious enough to drive 5 hours one way to bring me some warmer clothes. There is definitely a huge difference in climate between Southern Cali and the east coast right now. Plus if I am close to home some weekend there is a chance I may get to go home as well.
I am also just super excited to get to explore the New England states. I haven't been up this way in several years. My main youth ministry professor from college lives up in New Hampshire now. This weekend Michelle and I are going to stay with him and his family, doing some sightseeing (hopefully Boston!) and just hang out. It will be so nice!
Honestly I feel like God has really provided for me with this. Not that things have been bad, I just thinking right now this is better for me. There are definitely things I miss about being in Cali, but I could be back there in just a few months, but overall I am extremely excited and grateful for this!
Overall I am excited about this move. It was a bummer leaving a community at the condo, as well as the Life Group I had joined (see one earlier post), but I like being on the road again. Our three nights we stayed in downtown Newark, NJ. As I looked out the window I was able to see New York City, including the Empire State Building, in the background. It was awesome. We will be back in that area soon, so sometime Michelle and I are going to tour around the big city! Tomorrow we may even go see the sights in Philadelphia!
Its also a huge blessing because in just a couple hours I get to see my dad (and hes bring my dog :) ). My dad was gracious enough to drive 5 hours one way to bring me some warmer clothes. There is definitely a huge difference in climate between Southern Cali and the east coast right now. Plus if I am close to home some weekend there is a chance I may get to go home as well.
I am also just super excited to get to explore the New England states. I haven't been up this way in several years. My main youth ministry professor from college lives up in New Hampshire now. This weekend Michelle and I are going to stay with him and his family, doing some sightseeing (hopefully Boston!) and just hang out. It will be so nice!
Honestly I feel like God has really provided for me with this. Not that things have been bad, I just thinking right now this is better for me. There are definitely things I miss about being in Cali, but I could be back there in just a few months, but overall I am extremely excited and grateful for this!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Back at it!
I have been back in California for two weeks now, although it feels like its been a lot longer. I was blessed with a 2 1/2 week Christmas break back home in Ohio with my family and friends. That was such a good time! First off I hadn't been back in Ohio since last Christmas, and normally whenever I would go home it would only be for about a week to a week and a half. It was nice to have the chance to see a lot of people while also having days to just relax at home.
I have to admit though, having such a great break made it really hard to come back to California. Its not that I don't like my job, but there were definitely things that I was apprehensive about with coming back (and I still kind of am). But not knowing is part of my trusting process with God. I want it so I can grow closer to God, but its soooo hard at the same time. I also just really enjoyed my time with family and friends. It was good to see my momma, sister, grandmas, and friends who I had not seen since last Christmas as well as my dad who I hadn't seen since August. I was also able to see my family in Kentucky who I hadn't seen in five years- that included having good conversations, laughter, being a human jungle gym, the perfect Christmas Eve snow, and just a wonderful time with family.
Since I have been back I have had a mixture of working in our office and doing shows. My first week was mostly office work, which partially included painting and moving furniture. I really enjoyed those days! The shows have been going well. Being local means traveling within mostly Southern Cali, but sometimes the drives take longer based on the traffic (oh LA!) which has meant some pretty early mornings. It has been good though. This week is another fairly full week of shows in Southern California. Depending on how things work with the others girls I am living and what my boss decides, this semester I could be in Northern California or the Pacific Northwest (I hope!)
One thing that I am hoping to do it gain a good community of people out here, especially with the church I am attending. I mean I live with some great girls but I really would like to get connected in church as well since I am not moving around quite as much this semester. I just contacted people this week about getting involved in something called Life Groups, they are basically small groups to form more in depth relationships. Hopefully this week I will start attending one. I am really looking forward to meeting new people, getting involved and enjoying some more fellowship.
These last few weeks have been both good and a struggle. I feel like at times I have been battling a bad attitude (most people probably couldn't recognize it), had some great interactions, really missed people back home and in Oregon, and really enjoyed my time in CA as well. Its been messy in my head and heart! I don't know what God has in store for me, but I feel like he is preparing me for what's next--- that time just isn't here yet and I must remain focused on where he has me now. I know that either way God is the one who sustains me and gives me the hope, endurance and strength that I need. My prayer is that I will remain faithful to whatever comes my way, both of my normal schedule and the things that God throws in the mix! Who knows whats going to happen! But God is good!
With that, I am now getting back in gear, used to being back, and I also plan on blogging on a regular basis again! May God bless you richly as you serve him and as we as the body of Christ seek to do his will. He is everything! No matter how I feel or what I want, may God be glorified! That is my prayer and hope this semester! Thanks for keeping up with me!
I have to admit though, having such a great break made it really hard to come back to California. Its not that I don't like my job, but there were definitely things that I was apprehensive about with coming back (and I still kind of am). But not knowing is part of my trusting process with God. I want it so I can grow closer to God, but its soooo hard at the same time. I also just really enjoyed my time with family and friends. It was good to see my momma, sister, grandmas, and friends who I had not seen since last Christmas as well as my dad who I hadn't seen since August. I was also able to see my family in Kentucky who I hadn't seen in five years- that included having good conversations, laughter, being a human jungle gym, the perfect Christmas Eve snow, and just a wonderful time with family.
Since I have been back I have had a mixture of working in our office and doing shows. My first week was mostly office work, which partially included painting and moving furniture. I really enjoyed those days! The shows have been going well. Being local means traveling within mostly Southern Cali, but sometimes the drives take longer based on the traffic (oh LA!) which has meant some pretty early mornings. It has been good though. This week is another fairly full week of shows in Southern California. Depending on how things work with the others girls I am living and what my boss decides, this semester I could be in Northern California or the Pacific Northwest (I hope!)
One thing that I am hoping to do it gain a good community of people out here, especially with the church I am attending. I mean I live with some great girls but I really would like to get connected in church as well since I am not moving around quite as much this semester. I just contacted people this week about getting involved in something called Life Groups, they are basically small groups to form more in depth relationships. Hopefully this week I will start attending one. I am really looking forward to meeting new people, getting involved and enjoying some more fellowship.
These last few weeks have been both good and a struggle. I feel like at times I have been battling a bad attitude (most people probably couldn't recognize it), had some great interactions, really missed people back home and in Oregon, and really enjoyed my time in CA as well. Its been messy in my head and heart! I don't know what God has in store for me, but I feel like he is preparing me for what's next--- that time just isn't here yet and I must remain focused on where he has me now. I know that either way God is the one who sustains me and gives me the hope, endurance and strength that I need. My prayer is that I will remain faithful to whatever comes my way, both of my normal schedule and the things that God throws in the mix! Who knows whats going to happen! But God is good!
With that, I am now getting back in gear, used to being back, and I also plan on blogging on a regular basis again! May God bless you richly as you serve him and as we as the body of Christ seek to do his will. He is everything! No matter how I feel or what I want, may God be glorified! That is my prayer and hope this semester! Thanks for keeping up with me!
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